Tag Archives: suicidality

chalice of the hopeless: new zines & cripple-goth feelings

Being alive today feels like living in an alternate reality. I am astounded to still be on this planet, to still be breathing, to still be writing. I’ve been having my tough times as the colder weather inevitably interferes with … Continue reading

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bruises self-heal: the body in retrograde

content notes: overdose, emergency rooms, ambulances, vomit, brief mention of weight loss There’s something about being in emergency rooms that always feels experimental to me. I don’t know how long I’ll be there. I don’t know how they’ll treat me. … Continue reading

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Further Notes on Reclaiming Borderline and Resisting the Sane Gaze

content notes: very brief mentions of overdose, suicidality, unintentional weight loss I recently published an essay on The Establishment blog, Reclaiming Borderline: Dreaming New Meanings into Borderline Personality Disorder. As noted in the essay, among my intentions were to write … Continue reading

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Exploring Trauma, Madness, Chronic Illness, & Disability with Tarot: Part Three

In Part Three (of who knows how many?!) of Exploring Trauma, Madness, Chronic Illness, & Disability with Tarot, I’ll be writing about the Nine of Wands and Three of Pentacles, and I’ll be using Pixie’s Tarot, The Collective Tarot, Thea’s … Continue reading

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Exploring Trauma, Madness, Chronic Illness, & Disability with Tarot: Part Two

So, I’m pretty enthusiastic about reading Tarot as crazy people, and Tarot as a reliable*, spiritual, and fun source for self-exploration, coping, and (re-)imagining. As I mentioned in Part One, where I wrote about Five of Pentacles/Bones & Three of … Continue reading

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Exploring Trauma, Madness, Chronic Illness, & Disability with Tarot: Part One

(Read Part Two Here & read Part Three here!) content note: self-harm & trauma feelings Reading Tarot through a lens of madness, chronic illness and pain, trauma, and disability (and thus, poverty, too) comes naturally to me, as these are … Continue reading

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lethargy & optimism

Every November, I experience a particular, familiar fatigue, the same repetitive thoughts from the year before. It is the season when chronic suicidal ideation strengthens, when it takes root and rapidly solidifies itself in my brain, my blood, my heart … Continue reading

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