I’m learning that feeling exhausted with everything and wanting to take a break from the world are signs that something is wrong and I need to take better care of myself and make my boundaries more clear. Right now, that means accepting that I will never be caught up on all my emails & letters, it means drinking tea & water & taking vitamins instead of relying on coffee & candy to keep me going, and it means writing in my diary & solitude & silence & ignoring everyone for a while. I’m at another transitional stage of my life, and am figuring out how to handle it all. I’m becoming easily frustrated at attempted conversations, feeling silenced from several directions, but not having the energy to respond. It’s a rainy day, and I just wanna hang out in my bedroom and be nice to myself and quit worrying about everyone else for a while.

It’s Okay to Walk Away and Self-Care for Bossy Femmes were both useful and timely reading for me today. 10 Myths About Introverts is essential as well.

The mirror on my bedroom wall; endless mugs of coffee on my desk.

I’ve also been writing lists, trying to figure out my values, identities, and meaningful activities. Making these lists is a recommended activity for people with borderline personality disorder, but I imagine it could be useful for just about anyone. I first wrote my lists when I was Homewood, and last night I decided to go back to them, see what I had written, and write a new one. Because I’m not totally the same person I was back then. This is the beginning of my current process of trying to define who I am, why I do what I do, what I want to do the most… Basically, figuring out my priorities.

identities
writer
weirdo
genderqueer
twin
introvert

values
creativity
weirdness
honesty
anti-oppression
appreciating the little things

meaningful activities
writing (diary, zines, fiction, letters, blog, etc.)
reading
meditating
creating a home
hanging out at libraries & cafés
good conversations with friends
work-on-stuff dates
being outside

Have you ever written similar lists for yourself? What are you doing to take care of yourself today?

Caringly Yours,

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