Well, I wrote my list. These are some things I’d rather be doing right now:
Finding, naming, and gathering plants; holding hands; wandering in the snow; drinking tea with a friend; writing a letter; reading a really good book; re-organizing and getting rid of stuff; actively breaking bad habits; working on my second novel; learning something; playing with my cats; positively fucking shit up; making out; reading Tarot cards; doing nothing…
Having this list in front of me where I can read it and hold onto it helps me see that these things are totally do-able and that I do have the time & ability for all of them. And I am working on them, even if in only small ways. And since the New Year happens to be approaching in just a few hours, now is the perfect time for us to solidify our goals, to set our intentions for the coming days & weeks & months. It’s also, of course, useful & necessary to ask ourselves why we haven’t been doing these things. Sometimes they’re overwhelming. Sometimes it’s hard to leave the house. Sometimes the internet is really fucking distracting!
I’ve also come to the realization that, being surrounded by gadgets that offer internet access just about wherever we go, it has become so easy & so simple to share what’s going on at this precise moment with everyone we talk to online, and to receive immediate feedback. This is one reason I often have difficulty working on larger projects that I can’t show off to my friends all the time; I receive no immediate feedback, no acknowledgement, no ‘so-and-so “likes” this’; so I find myself devoting pieces of time to the littler things that I can share, and then I realize that it has all added up, and I have gotten absolutely nowhere with some of my larger goals. I don’t get a pat on the back for learning something new, for feeling good when I go outside, for tidying my apartment. And that’s okay! I don’t need that kind of validation – or, rather, I am working towards not needing that kind of validation.
Around the end of each month, I write my goals for the next month on a small piece of paper and I hang it up where I will see it everyday. I write the list very quickly; the first things that come to mind are written fast because they are the most important. I don’t change the list, I don’t write a neater copy… I just scribble fast, and everyday I see that list and ask myself what I am doing to make it happen. I’ll write my January list tonight.
What do your lists look like? What would you rather be doing right now, and why aren’t you doing it? Or maybe you are… how does it feel?
While you’re working on your goals and getting ready for the New Year, I highly recommend reading 10 Fantastic Ways to Get Ready for 2012, by Gala Darling. I just stumbled upon this entry this morning, and was pleased to see that many of her recommendations are things I’m already doing (unsubscribing from newsletters I don’t read anymore, culling my friends lists, deleting unnecessary things online, writing lists on both giant & tiny pieces of paper, making my 2012 planner all gorgeous and whatnot, stocking my kitchen with nice things, etc…), and now I feel inspired to do even more.
I am feeling really good about diving into 2012. 2011 was awesome, but I am going to be making even more positive changes in 2012, and I think it’s gonna be one of my best years yet. One of the most important changes I’m making, which will be key in helping me out with all the others, is spending far less time online. I don’t wanna waste my days away playing on the internet! I’ll be totally 100% offline on January 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, and I am even considering canceling my internet service altogether (at least until I can pay off my ridiculous bill and find a cheaper service provider). I’ll be busy hanging out with my pals, drinking lots of tea & coffee, writing letters, catching up on a giant stack of unread zines, and so on and so forth. What will you be doing? Take good care of yourselves and your pals!
Listwritingly Yours,
P.S.: If you’ve benefited from my writing in any way – if my words have inspired you, helped you feel less alone, or sparked some weird feeling within you; if you’ve felt encouraged, or curious, or comforted – please consider compensating me by offering a donation of any amount. Whether you’ve been reading my writing for years, or just stumbled into me this afternoon, I invite you to help me sustain the process!
Maranda Elizabeth 