“Woah, that was crazy!”
Except it wasn’t. It was weird, wonderful, loud, amazing, ridiculous, awful, strange, marvelous, difficult, silly, tedious, impressive, absurd, etc… It was a million different things, and crazy probably wasn’t one of them. And even if it were, that’s not really for you to say, unless it was your own experience. ‘Crazy’ seems to be the most popular adjective for all things good and bad, and I don’t like it.
Welcome to a post about oppressive language! I know you’ve heard it all before. You know every damn reason and then some on why not to use certain words. You know which words have been reclaimed (queer, dyke, cunt, bitch…), and which words just need to go away forever (retarded, lame…). And you’ve heard me and others discuss the use of the word ‘crazy’. Well, here I go again.
Call me sensitive, call me the language police, call me whatever you want. I don’t like the word ‘crazy’ the way it is commonly used, and I grit my teeth and pretend to ignore it when somebody uses that word in my presence to describe, like, busy traffic, or somebody’s hair, or last night, or any number of things that could be described by dozens and dozens of more thoughtful words that actually make sense. When I tell you a story, and you respond with, “That’s crazy,” “That’s insane,” “That’s nuts!” etc., you stop the potential conversation dead in its tracks. (Same with the word ‘lame’. Stop using that word around me, and then stop using that word altogether, please and thank you.) I’m not the world’s greatest conversationalist, but I do try to choose my words wisely, and I like to believe that I am no longer in the habit of using oppressive language, or if I am, I am taking the time to examine my use of those words and eliminate them from my vocabulary.
And please don’t tell me that the meaning of the word has changed, therefore it’s okay to use it now. That excuse only works for those who have the privilege of not having been labeled crazy, not having that word used against them, and when you continue to use oppressive language after being made aware of it, you look like a jerk. I’ve never been good at calling people out for saying inappropriate things; I keep it inside and dwell on it, and sometimes I write about it. But I’d like to get better at that. Letting people know why I feel uncomfortable with something they’ve just said, and giving them another perspective.
Here’s another example of how language, and how certain words are used, really irks me: It is extremely common for folks who have bipolar to be told that they are bipolar. Whenever somebody says that to me, I correct them. Bipolar is not something I am, it’s something I potentially have. Nobody ever says, You are a cold, or You are cancer. Please think about language when discussing mental health.
This is somewhat related: If you aren’t familiar with the whole Teal Triggs Fanzines debacle, please read the On Having My Work Published Without My Permission tags on my sister’s blog, and follow the many links to other blogs provided within. My zine was also included in that book (the cover of Telegram Ma’am # 14 from Spring 2008 to be specific), and I’ll admit it, I pretty much cried when I read the description she wrote of my zine. (Don’t worry, I didn’t buy the book – all “contributers”, if we can be called that, are entitled to a free copy.)
This is what she wrote: Telegram Ma’am is a mini-perzine [sic] by Maranda, who uses writing to articulate what it is like being [sic] bipolar. Um, no. I am so sick of talking about this book, but, after my zine being used in a for-profit book without my permission, it was yet another blow to see my writing so poorly misrepresented. If she had read the zine, she would know her language was inappropriate. I’ve had this conversation too many times. After I read that, I was going to email her again to let her know how I felt about what she wrote, but I just don’t have the energy to deal with it anymore. The whole situation is just an embarrassing disappointment.
By psychiatric standards, I guess you could say I am crazy (well, I can say it; you can’t – I use ‘crazy’ as a reclaimed term to playfully/seriously refer to myself, but not others). I’ve grappled for a long time with where I believe mental health conditions come from / how they happen / how-why-if they exist, the best and worst methods of treatment, and so on. I’ve seen a lot of doctors, been hospitalized countless times, I’ve taken a lot of drugs and I’ve gone med-free and I’ve taken drugs again. I find it very strange that just about all personality quirks and preferences can be given a diagnosis (or ten, or a thousand – don’t even get me started on the DSM). A couple years ago, I was talking to my then-therapist about how I don’t like it when people touch me. I’m cool with hugging my friends and holding hands, but I get extremely distressed if somebody touches me without my permission, brushes against me or bumps into me, etc. Once, while out shopping with my mom, this dude approached me from behind and put his hand on my arm to touch my tattoo. I’ve had a lot of problems with strangers touching my tattoos as though they are not a part of my body, my flesh, and it is very upsetting; I don’t always have the guts to call them out, though I am getting better at it. Anyway, this dude had some nerve treating me like that, in front of my mom no less. She told him not to touch me, and I burst into tears. My therapist started talking about Asberger’s, like it could be a possible diagnosis, and I’m like, “Why does this have to be diagnosed? Why can’t you just say I don’t like people touching me and leave it at that?”
Crazy is real. There are varying degrees, and whether or not it is a contsruct of the medical community in Western society, a chemical imbalance, the effects of trauma, or simply the way some folks are perceived by others who consider themselves sane, well, I do believe that crazy exists, and I think it’s disrespectful and thoughtless to use that label out of context. Remember when you’re speaking to someone that you don’t know their history, you don’t know what might hurt them. Not that you should be walking on eggshells every time you open your mouth, I just think you ought to take a few things into consideration in conversation, and oppressive language is one of those things. Once I reconsidered my own language, I found that writings and conversations grew far more interesting, productive, and thought-provoking for me. Instead of saying, “Wow, that’s so insane!” and shutting down the conversation when a friend tells me about an encounter they had with a stranger, for example, I can instead have a more thoughtful response, like, “Wow, that sounds really wonderful. What did she say? What did you think? Don’t you love the way the universe brings neat stories into our lives when we’re least expecting them?”
For further reading on language and ableism, please visit these entries on DisabledFeminists.com. I don’t always follow this blog, or any blog, regularly, and it appears that as of today, new entries will no longer be posted, but the site will be kept as an archive and resource.
Oh, and here’s a list of at least one-hundred different adjectives. ‘Crazy’ is on those lists; just ignore it and read the others.
This whole language thing bothers me, and then it bothers me that it bothers me. But that’s how it is. I really think the misuse of the words ‘crazy’, ‘insane’, ‘nuts’, etc., is old news, but I encounter it so often that I felt the need to write this and share it.
Get creative with your language and start connecting for real.
With many alternative adjectives in hand,
This is beautifully written Maranda, thank you. I will definitely be passing it along.
this reminds me a little bit of this thing that my boyfriend’s mom wrote. she has a disease called retinitis pigmentosa, which is causing her to go blind. she is actually almost completely blind at this point in her life, & it’s a genetic condition, which jared’s brother also has. he is pretty close to blind as well. but this is about their mom.
she wrote this thing recently about people using the word “blind” in kind of a pejorative sense, as a synonym for “unobservant” or “lacking empathy,” for example. she wrote this whole thing about how using the word “blind” in that way marginalizes & oppresses actual real life blind people & how this is very upsetting to her…& then she acknowledges that thinking about how this kind of language was upsetting made her think about how really she was actually upset about losing her eyesight, & she recognizes that people using “blind” in that context are not actually casting aspersions against blind people. so she kind of did a 180 & was like, “thank you for using this word & hurting my feelings because it inspired me to come to terms with my blindness.”
i don’t necessarily think you (or anyone else) should feel the same way she does. i do not really feel that way myself. but i thought it was a really interesting take on a very well-worn topic. i myself have never been able to stop using the word “lame,” even though i have physical disabilities that actual do make me “lame,” as it were. i almost never use the word “lame” to mean disabled in any way. i use it to mean “disappointing,” “crappy,” etc. which is maybe how i feel about having physical disabilities–they make my life disappointing & crappy sometimes. i used to try to get upset about people using the word “lame” (& tried to stop using it myself), but…it seemed so archaic, such an exercise in manufactured outrage, i just couldn’t commit to it. i still really do not like the word “retarded” or “gay” being used in a pejorative way, but at this point, i don’t really care what people say as long as they are not actually saying intentionally rude things about people with disabilities (to keep it germane). i worry sometimes that i have just given up…& then i think about how much happier i am not trying to fight every single fight & working myself into a froth over every misstep…
just food for thought, i guess. i definitely don’t expect you to feel the same way about any of this stuff.
I’ve also read critiques of using the words ‘blind’ and ‘deaf’ to mean something more along the lines of thoughtless, uncaring, etc., and afterward, cut down on my use of those words (not that they were words that came up a lot, I just became more aware of my use of them and went searching for alternatives). I think when people use the word ‘crazy’ around me, especially when they’re trying to describe somebody else’s behaviour, my first thought is usually along the lines of, ‘Where do you [the person talking to me] draw the line between crazy and sane?’ And sometimes I get irrationally upset about it. Like, a few weeks ago, I sat down at a table at a coffeeshop, and I could hear the conversation going on between the two guys sitting nearby, and it went:
Dude #1: So, what do you think my chances are with her?
Dude #2: I don’t know, man, to be honest, I think she’s a crazy bitch.
And I got really angry, even though I had no right to, since I wasn’t involved in the conversation, didn’t know the guys, and didn’t know the girl they were talking about. It’s just a word that really irks me, but actually, I feel the same way of how you said Jared’s mom felt: that hearing the word ‘blind’ used in a different context helped her to come to terms with her own blindness. When I overhear(d) that conversation at the coffeeshop, and so many other similar conversations, it makes me a) worry/wonder about people saying the same things about me when I’m not around, and b) stop caring, because I have pretty much owned up to my own craziness and it doesn’t really matter what others think anymore. (And on a related note of reclaiming language, I’ve also been considering having ‘Crazy Bitch’ tattooed on my feet, so it’s silly for me to get all up in arms when somebody else uses that phrase.)
Even though I don’t like the word ‘lame’, I still understand your use of it – it’s a simple word that can have a lot of meanings, and as long as you are cool with your own meaning, and comfortable with using it, that makes sense to me. It’s not something I can get on board with it – I still associate it with what I like to call ‘lazy language’ (even though ‘lazy’ is another word I find myself examining/overthinking), but for me, it’s one of those, We can can agree to disagree things… I don’t expect everyone to agree with what I’ve written here, but it’s something I think a lot of folks don’t really take the time to think about.
I agree with you Maranda! The same goes for me with the word ‘psycho’ or ‘psychotic’ when it’s not used properly. I am really sensitive to this because I frequently hear these types of words in my workplace by students and staff alike all thetime. I work in a faculty office at a univerisity and one staff member I know does it all the time and says really bad things about the students she is talking to and giving permission to allow back into the university if they have failed or not. I only just really thought about this specifically but I have heard more awful words come out of her mouth than anywone else put togther and it is offensive. I wonder what she says about me. She knows I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder ! I guess I have to harden my heart against her words and not buy into them. I don’t feel I can say ‘you shouldn’t talk like that’ to her yet. I think that would go down badly all around the small office I work in. So I think I just have to ignore her when I can and if it gets to me, just leave for a quick break and come back fresh.
~Sarah~
Hey Maranda,
I was actually in a conversation yesterday about how I wish people wouldn’t use the word crazy. I use it too, and I am trying to self-edit.
Do you mind if I put a link to this post on my facebook page? I wanted to make is this was/wasn’t okay before I actually did it.
Yeah, feel free to post a link! I used to use the word ‘crazy’ out of context for a long time as well, but have been changing that over the last few years.
This is superbly written.
I admit I use the word myself, but really, when you think about the way meanings of words are used or discarded with regard to the context they’re used in, using “crazy” as a catch-all really is unnecessary at best, hurtful and oppressive at its worst. What if we all started using racial slurs in the same “neutral” ways?
I agree about your point above about “lazy language” too.
Pingback: One word I wish I didn’t say (all the time). | go it alone (together)
Great post, Maranda. I’m trying to curb down my use of ‘crazy’ to describe things. Because I’ve also been thinking– whatever I might’ve described as such really deserve a more appropriate adjective. Plus it gets me thinking about forgotten vocabulary!
I do really enjoy the challenge of using my forgotten vocabulary, and figuring out how to describe things more accurately.
I got your mail yesterday, thank you! Incidentally, I also sent you a letter and issue 22 yesterday. Is there an issue of Telegram Ma’am you don’t have that I can send you since you enclosed cash & stamps? I don’t think I sent you issue 20, the one I made in Halifax in the summer.
I did get yr letter and I was thinking, WOAH MAIL TELEPATHY! Life is awesome when that happens. And yeah, I don’t have issue 20~ I’d love to get that one, thank you!
Pingback: What’s “Crazy?” « Daisies and Bruises
Pingback: I’m not the only one who feels conflicted about To Write Love On Her Arms, right? | Maranda Elizabeth
Can you explain why the word “lame” is wrong? I use this word, & just assumed it was another version of “boring”. I’d like to be more educated about this. thank you.
I don’t mean for this to condescending, but I am truly exhausted with being expected to and attempting to explain the history of certain words in the english language over and over again. I think that if someone has access to this blog, and has a genuine interest in learning further, using a general search engine to find more information isn’t really that difficult.